Labour Day

A year and a half ago i did what most women wish their husband will do for them and what most men would rather not do. I went in with my wife as she labored and gave birth. Yap!! I did it. Sema siku mrefu. Wah!! Sema kuchanganikiwa!! Enyewe mwanaume ni kujikaza kimaisha.

It’s 8pm and after the 9 month journey with all its ups and downs have come to this. No more cravings, mood swings and the pains and checkups will soon be over! My wife is scheduled for induction because her blood pressure has been acting up so her doctor feels it is better not to wait until full term. I am nervous and don’t know what to expect because of all the stories I have heard about what induction does to a lady during labour. So after some tests, she changes into one of those not so pretty hospital dresses (Do they have to be this ugly?) The doctor then initiates the induction around 10pm. I wish her well and head home. Little did I know that this was going to be one of the longest nights of my life. I have never been this anxious! At some point I even wished I remained in hospital with my wife even though the doctor had guaranteed that “active labour” would begin in the morning.

By 7am the following morning I was back to the hospital to see if the baby had come already  (Movies have made us believe that labour takes 30 minutes and the baby is out) I get to hospital and my wife is doing well and labour pains are progressing well. She hands me a note book and pen and my role for the day is defined; recording how long the labour pains are and how far apart the contractions are coming, while still rubbing her lower back. Whoever said men can’t multitask!IMG-20140810-WA0040One hour turned into two, three, four and on and on. I don’t think I had been adequately prepared for this because as hours passed, I started feeling so drained and overwhelmed emotionally. Men are wired to always be in charge and offer solutions but at the labour ward all you can do is watch your loved one in pain and hope that rubbing her back will suffice. These moments however allowed me to appreciate my wife and all women just by seeing what they go through to bring new life to this world. I gave myself courage and soldiered on. It was particularly very uncomfortable for me to see how the doctor checks for dialation. Wah!! After what i had seen the first time, I walked out of the labour ward for the rest of the checkups and believe you me, they were a couple. Am still wondering if there is another way they can do that.IMG-20140810-WA0037Five hours later, it’s 7pm and my wife has only dilated 4cm!  (For those that don’t understand why this is a big deal, for a baby to be born, a woman’s pelvic bones need to open up at least 10cm and that is what they call dilation) which meant that even after 12hours of labour, we still had a long way to go. I was emotionally drained, tired and hungry and just wished all this would come to an end. I was in unfamiliar territory and all I wanted was a break. God answered my prayer and at some point, our friend and midwife, Lucy Muchiri came to our rescue. At least this gave me a break to go get something to eat and breathe some fresh air. There was nothing that was as difficult as seeing my wife suffering and knowing there is nothing I could do to stop the suffering. Even my presence there did not feel enough.IMG-20140810-WA0027After what seemed to be years of labour and emotional turmoil for me, the doctor finally advised that it was time for us to consider Caesarian section which would mean that now my wife would be taken to the theatre. The doctor’s thoughts were that since we had tried all we could to deliver the baby normally and it was not working, it seemed that something was not right and we didn’t have time to find out what it was.  His thoughts were that since at that point my wife and the baby’s heart beats were strong and consistent, if we waited longer, one of the two could get tired and hence lead to even more complications.  I was confused and my mind had too many questions running through it. I wondered why the doctors had not anticipated the complications and why we had to wait 12 hours for them to come to this resolve. I felt wasted and depressed but I knew that everyone including the doctor had my wife’s interests at heart.  IMG-20140810-WA0025My wife got prepared for theater and after 45 minutes under the knife, our daughter Eliana Wairimu Kamau weighing 2.4Kgs was born. I wept. I didn’t care what the world thought, I just let it all out. This moment, is a moment I will forever treasure. Seeing Eliana for the first time and seeing her mum finally at rest meant the world to me. Even though Eliana looked like an alien from outer space at first, I had seen many birth videos to know that’s just how they all come out “wrapped”.  IMG-20140810-WA0031.jpg 2

In retrospect, I picked out a few lessons for both myself and fellow men who find themselves in this situation (trust me, its sooner than you think);

  1. Men are wired to be or at least want to be in charge of any situation they go through. I submit to you men that this is one situation you cannot do anything about. You will just be a spectator for most of the time. You will eventually feel very incapacitated.
  2. The labour experience is different for everyone. Be prepared for anything. It could take one hour or 12 hours.
  3. It may not seem like much but being there, rubbing her back and holding her hand is more than enough.
  4. If you don’t feel like you are psychologically prepared to go into the delivery room, please don’t go. You can thank me later. (I know many women will disagree with me on this point but I feel like this may end up having negative effects on a man who does not want to be in the room for whatever reason. Don’t force him.)
  5. Read as much as you can about pregnancy, labour and child birth. This will prepare you psychologically for what you will experience that day. Remember the experience is different for everyone.
  6. Depending on which hospital you go to, carry something that will help your mind to relax. It can be a game on your tablet or phone or a game of cards that you can play between contractions. (If both of you will be in the mood).
  7. Pray! Pray! Pray! During pregnancy, during labour and during delivery. Pray when you hold that baby in your hands and pray for your wife. It’s the only thing you will want to do anyway so do it.
  8. Never swear you will not go back there again. A lot can happen in the next nine months

    Children are a gift from God and the process of conception all the way to delivery is nothing short of a miracle. Let us all appreciate life. Soon I will indulge more on the life after delivery.

 

 

 

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Author: djsoxxy

Jackson Kamau aka Dj Soxxy was born in 1982 in Murang'a county. He is the 4th born in a family of 5 siblings and the only boy. He went to Uhuru Primary School and after joined Dagoretti High School for his secondary education. After High School he joined St. Paul's University for his Undergrad studies where he studied Bachelor of Arts in Communication and majored in Mass communication and Public Relations. Dj Soxxy began his dj career in 2006 and has had the opportunity to work in many Kenyan radio and television stations such as Family fm, Hope Fm, Homeboyz radio, Power Radio, NTV, Citizen Tv and K24 tv. Dj Soxxy.jpg He has one wife called Anne Wanjiku Waichigo and two children a daughter called Eliana Wairimu Kamau and a son called Ethan Wambage Kamau. You can interact with Dj soxxy online using the following platforms: https://www.facebook.com/djsoxxy/ https://twitter.com/DjSoxxy https://instagram.com/djsoxxy

42 thoughts on “Labour Day”

  1. Loved The Story Up There, Its Indeed Encouraging Inspiring, May God Bless You And Family.
    God Is All For Us
    #Believe And Having Faith In Him.
    #Soxxy God Bless You So Much.
    Bigups Sanah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can feel whatever it is you were feeling, you really take us on the journey with you .. Your first blogspot is 👌👌👌👌👌👌All i can say is “wabeeeee” for the goodjob… Bless you and your family.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reading this is so emotional at the same time it teaches us a lesson.It has made me realize that women are different,i am trying to imagine what you were going through,what she was going through for almost two days of pain whilst mine just took me 30 minutes for everything to happen….children are a blessing from God 😊 .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That is a well narrated tale Soxxy…!! Now that am expecting myself I really needed to read that.. wah! My hubby will need it too.. lol

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  4. Why are my eyes tearing… someone is cutting onions around me.. anyway what you did was awesome. It means alot. Sometimes just your presence is enough.God bless your family.

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  5. Reading this with hubby was worthwhile, it is such a mysterious yet beautiful journey. No one is prepared enough but God is always in control. Great inspiration Soxxy… As my eyes are filled with tears as I await mine story next month. God bless you, mum Elianna & Elianna

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  6. Wow, Soxxy you are one in a million your wife and daughter are very lucky to have you in their life. I always pray for such a hubby. This story has enlightened me on what to expect when that time comes and it’s true that prayers works wonders, be blessed and thank you soo much.

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  7. Great share Jackson and well done. Many men don’t get a chance to experience this moment for one reason or another and I can say that your story gives a clear indication of what goes in the labour room or theatre. God bless you and your beautiful family.

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  8. Wow what a moving experience this was. The miracles of labour we thank God for success at the end and seeing you through it. Much grace.

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  9. This is a wonderful piece.. its true, everyone has a diffrnt experience. For me, there was no pain at all for those 12 hrs after induction. The doctor however opted for an emergency CS because the baby’s heartbeat was not so good..all in all, God is great because baby is 3mths n growing stronger

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  10. God bless you and your family,thankyou for sharing our story(mom’s)its always a matter of life and death during that period…your such a strong man of God

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  11. Yu are one in a million young man.Now yu knu wot ur wife means to yu,thus l knu how much respect she commands from yu.Wish all men cud copy yu.

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  12. Wow! People who experience something and go ahead to share their story and lessons learnt, I salute them. Great piece Soxxy. God bless you for teaching us, though watu kama sisi tuko far but its helped alot to know the details involved in that labour ward. Baraka kwa familia bro.

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  13. Hey Soxxy…that’s too courageous of u.Am a nurse n moreso a midwife n I can adastand wat u went through.Its the cervix that dilates n not the pelvic bones…just a correction.
    I wish all men cld accompany their wives to labour ward!

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  14. Beautiful. The article has made me celebrate my recent tough labour experience…it is sure beautiful after it all. Great piece!

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    1. Sorry about your tough labour. You are indeed a tough lady and i celebrate you. God bless you and your family. May you never lack. Thank you for the kind words and support.

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  15. Great article.being with your wife the entire time was an act of love,courage and care. May God bless you and i know you have inspired some men out there. and crying after seeing your daughter crowns it all. Awesome piece and only justice to it is by sharing for all to read

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  16. Yeah thats the biggest miracle
    And more of lesson to both men and women … Good men exist… And also the journey of pregnancy way up to bringing up the child requires prayers and a good wife and husband who are supporting one another.
    You’re just the best dad to Eliana Wairimu and sure she will grow under great care from God and you two as a blessed couple.

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  17. soxxy you are a hero….cause not many can be like you….may God bless you and your family plus am praying for your wife’s labour pain will not repeat it’s self

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  18. This is a beautiful piece.It’s very encouraging how modern dads are taking up more responsibilities when it comes to pregnancy and child birth. My hubby was there for both of my deliveries and experiencing that changed the way he looks at me. It is an empowering experience for both the mom and the dad.

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  19. Mtu wangu (my person), the one lesson I learnt when my wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy boy, is that my respect for women went several notches higher. Women go through a lot during pregnancy. We’ll never fully comprehend the extent of what they face during the nine months and even afterward. Women are special. Women deserve lots and lots of respect.

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    1. Men would never hack to be women. Women have a special grace and strength to go through all that and yet still want to go through it again and again. Barikiwa sana.

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  20. It takes a man with a strong heart to do that!My hubby has to read this soo encouraging….Pray! Pray! Pray! During pregnancy, during labour and during delivery. Pray when you hold that baby in your hands and pray for your wife. It’s the only thing you will want to do anyway so do it.I pray that all goes well will be due on 21/08/17

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  21. God bless you Dj Soxxy.Just read your piece and it is inspiring,i got into labour on 18th Dec 2016 at 7pm but delivered on 19th Dec 2016 at 8.30am,i can testify that i personally walked with GOD through the whole experience.My son Dylan is 6 months old (i thank God)and every time i look at him i fall in love over and over again.

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